The Aftermath

I don’t really know where to even begin.  I feel like my world is being completed turned upside down.  There’s not just one thing I’m upset about – its about a million.

If I’m not crying because my Dad is just up and moving over a 1,000 miles away (to be with someone else) then I’m crying because I have to say goodbye to my house – my home, or I’m crying because I have to say goodbye to my family as I know it.

I know that I will get through this… we (my Mom, my sister and me) will get through it together, but it will be hard.

I keep thinking I will wake up from this bad dream any minute but I’m not.  It’s real and I need to accept it.

I woke up this morning and a numbness has taken over.  I feel like I can’t cry anymore and I can’t continue to spend my days upset and scared for the future.  I just have to deal with it as it comes.

But the numbness does scare me in a way because it makes me feel like I am not dealing with it.  But I guess I couldn’t continue crying forever.  I’m sure there will be days where it is easier and days it is harder.  And I have to deal with them as they come.

So that’s what I’ll do.  For now, I’m just going to try my hardest to enjoy my weekend somewhat.

I’m going down to my boyfriend’s tonight and spending the night with him.  Then tomorrow we are doing a little belated birthday celebration with some of his friends by going to Hibachi (yum!) and then to a bar.  On Sunday, I have my Grandma’s 93rd! birthday party!  My Mom’s side of the family, which is spread out all around the country (world even) is here to celebrate and I’m really looking forward to seeing everyone.

So, life kinda sucks right now but it doesn’t stop for anything or anyone.  Everyone has their own things they are dealing with and I am not the only one in the world going through a bit of a rough time.  I guess all you can do is cling to the positive things in life.  And I’m blessed to have many – my Mom, my sister, my boyfriend, my best friends – I am truly very blessed in this life and for that I am so grateful.

And to end this on a super happy note – my girl, Tay Tay (Taylor Swift for those of you who do not speak Alliecakes lol) has a new single out called “Mine” you can download it on iTunes and its amazing of course!

Hope everyone out there has a great weekend. xo

Crash

8:30pm

my dad is sitting on the couch.. my mom on the chair.

his face is very stern, i think i’m in trouble.. my heart starts to race…

“what!? what is it??” i ask.

he looks at me with a face i can’t read… “i don’t know how else to say this but… i’ve found someone… else…. that I want to be with…. you’re mother and i are seperating”

i understood the words but do not comprehend the meaning for what feels like a few minutes… the wind feels knocked out of me… i can’t speak… even when i try, i have no words.

he keeps talking about how he loves me and he will be there but its all just a blur.

finally, i calm down enough to ask “well, what do you mean?  where exactly are you moving?”

“Canada… Nova Scotia”

crash. bam. boom.

world upside down, in 3 minutes flat.

And I Frolicked About in My Summer Skin

I do this every once in awhile. I unintentionally stop blogging for a week… and then somehow that turns into two weeks.. and then three… and then I want to blog! but I haven’t blogged in so long so I feel like I should really write something good to make up for all the lack of blogging but OH THE PRESSURE.. so I continue to not blog and by then it has been month and finally I just say eff it!  I’ll just ramble off this nonsense and get this ball rolling again…

so hi.

In case you need a reminder, my last day at my job was a month ago and now I’m just hanging out until I start my graduate internship/grad school.

Now, I THOUGHT I’d be blogging up a storm during this time, ya know considering I have all the time in the world.

But, instead?  I chose to do this:

• Visit my old college roomie in DC
• Spend a couple days with my bestie at a beach house in LBI, NJ
• Lay in bed all the live long day
• Clean, clean, clean my room
• Watch SoapNet all afternoon
• Sleep until 1pm
• Visit Georgetown Cupcakes (in DC) and Crumbs (in NYC) to determine which one is better (Georgetown Cupcakes ftw!)
• Vacation to Bermuda with my honey
• Celebrate his birthday  with a home cooked meal and tickets to the Yankees game
• Shop… a lot (this one made no sense, as I have no income right now!)

Let me tell you something – life goes by so fast without a job/school responsibilities!

Now, before you go getting totally jealous of me, understand that in approximately a month, my life is going to be the complete opposite of this and probably be overwhelmingly busy.

Monday, I start training for my internship.  I will be doing that for August and then in September we throw classes and another field experience into the mix.  I had a dinner tonight with some of the current students and they said, honestly – be prepared to be overwhelmed.  But I’m up for the challenge.

And I’m going to continue enjoying my summer until the craziness begins.

If I still have any readers out there, tell me one awesome thing you did or loved about July!

My favorite thing was being on Elbow Beach, Bermuda with the love of my life.  More pics to come soon!