Today I got to thinking about relationships and what it takes to make one work.
(how very carrie bradshaw-esque of me, I know)
I thought about how we take our cars for tune ups,
our teeth for cleanings,
our bodies for checkups all to prevent and catch problems early –
and maybe our relationships deserve the same kind of attention and care.
All this thinking started when the Boy and I got into a little spat on Tuesday.
The fight itself was pretty minor and insignificant
but at the same time revealed something bigger
that had been bothering him for awhile now.
You guys might not know this but I don’t read minds
and I had no idea he was feeling the way he was.
If you’re curious –
the jist of it was that he felt like we always do what I want to do.
But I always thought we were doing what WE wanted to do.
The issue was easily resolved but the thing that was really bothering me was
why it took so long for him to say something about it? (9 months in!)
I spent the majority of yesterday very upset over it.
I couldn’t help wondering what else was bothering him,
What else he was keeping inside and not saying to me.
I learned first hand a couple months back what keeping things in will do –
The tension builds,
You get annoyed over little things,
When a simple conversation can make things all better.
So when I saw him yesterday I had one request for him:
“Please, please don’t keep things bottled up. Because those little things fester and build inside of you and then this happens where something that should be a little, stupid one minute fight becomes so much bigger. So, just put it out there. Tell me if there is anything bothering you.”
And he did.
And then I did.
Nothing Earth stopping, just little things.
And when it was all said and done,
Any tension I had been starting to feel between us was gone.
And there was a calmness and comfort that came with the honesty.
And a new feelings of closeness from being allowed to say the things we really felt.
And it really got me thinking that every so often,
maybe its necessary to give our relationship a checkup.
To fine tune it,
So that it runs smoother than before.
To catch that cavity before you need a root canal.
To fix a problem before it’s irrepairable.
And really – relationship checkups are totally better
than those car tuneups,
and doctor visits I mentioned anyways,
because these checkups end with awesome,
hot – iloveyousomuch, makeup sex.