I don’t really know where to even begin. I feel like my world is being completed turned upside down. There’s not just one thing I’m upset about – its about a million.
If I’m not crying because my Dad is just up and moving over a 1,000 miles away (to be with someone else) then I’m crying because I have to say goodbye to my house – my home, or I’m crying because I have to say goodbye to my family as I know it.
I know that I will get through this… we (my Mom, my sister and me) will get through it together, but it will be hard.
I keep thinking I will wake up from this bad dream any minute but I’m not. It’s real and I need to accept it.
I woke up this morning and a numbness has taken over. I feel like I can’t cry anymore and I can’t continue to spend my days upset and scared for the future. I just have to deal with it as it comes.
But the numbness does scare me in a way because it makes me feel like I am not dealing with it. But I guess I couldn’t continue crying forever. I’m sure there will be days where it is easier and days it is harder. And I have to deal with them as they come.
So that’s what I’ll do. For now, I’m just going to try my hardest to enjoy my weekend somewhat.
I’m going down to my boyfriend’s tonight and spending the night with him. Then tomorrow we are doing a little belated birthday celebration with some of his friends by going to Hibachi (yum!) and then to a bar. On Sunday, I have my Grandma’s 93rd! birthday party! My Mom’s side of the family, which is spread out all around the country (world even) is here to celebrate and I’m really looking forward to seeing everyone.
So, life kinda sucks right now but it doesn’t stop for anything or anyone. Everyone has their own things they are dealing with and I am not the only one in the world going through a bit of a rough time. I guess all you can do is cling to the positive things in life. And I’m blessed to have many – my Mom, my sister, my boyfriend, my best friends – I am truly very blessed in this life and for that I am so grateful.
And to end this on a super happy note – my girl, Tay Tay (Taylor Swift for those of you who do not speak Alliecakes lol) has a new single out called “Mine” you can download it on iTunes and its amazing of course!
Hope everyone out there has a great weekend. xo