I’ve changed and I don’t know when and I don’t know why.
But sometimes I take a look at myself and how I”m handling grad school and life and I think, “this is so not like me, what’s that about?” And I just can’t seem to figure it out. But I suppose its a good thing when the change is not worrying as much, not crying as much, not focusing on the negative as much.
I guess, I just don’t understand where this change has come from though. There’s so much to worry about. My family life is essentially falling apart, the Boy is going through some drama that could be weighing on me heavily, I have a list a mile long of school work and yet, I sit here and I hope for the best and I don’t stress.
But that is so NOT me.
I’m a worrier, I stress, I cry, I freak out… so why am I not? Some days, it makes me feel strong and other days, I just feel hardened and I’m not sure if I like that.
When life keep throwing you curve balls, is this just what has to happen? Do we find new ways to deal and in return we change?